Feel Good Friday

Hosted by Erika over at The Girl Next Door Grows Up - a weekly meme designed by her to remind us of all we have to feel good about!

It's been a rough month - August. After a fairly decent summer where I did

absolutely NOTHING,

went nowhere

but enjoyed reading and being lazy and watching tv and having lots of play time with the grandchildren...

Here came the middle of August and the week that my job at the schools started back up.

That wasn't the rough thing...

well it was rough going back after being so lazy and resting so much...

Nope, the really rough thing was having my car break down just a day or two before I was supposed to get back to work.

And of course - because I don't work over the summer, this means that there is no extra money for repairs...

Hell, it was tough coming up with money for rent and car insurance.

Everything worked out okay there, thank goodness for sons.

I also had received a little money for my birthday that I waited to spend - thinking...just in case.

Good thing, because that's what is paying insurance this month.

ANYWAY...

after feeling drained about this and feeling a little negative about everything, I realized:

1. my youngest son and his girlfriend (who I refer to as my daughter in law) made sure I got to work everyday - not just one work, but both worksites. That's a lot of driving around
2. my oldest son let his dad know that if we needed money for car repair, he would loan it to us.
3. one of the young women at my second jobsite, gave me a ride home everynight for the last two weeks - and refused to accept any money for gas - until I crammed some money into her pocket.
4. my middle son gave me $20 here, $40 there, for the whole month of August until we had enough to cover rent. This is pretty cool, because he only works parttime at a bar job, pays child support, and was using his tips to help me out this way. As a lot of people know, sometimes you get tipped big, sometimes not so big - and he's bottom of the totem pole - meaning his tips aren't so great unless he's working for his brother (my oldest)
5. today, my car is working and at home....(until the next time - knock on wood)

So it's been a fairly stressed out month - but it did work out. It's just hard to go from day to day when you're flat-assed broke and know you're not getting any extra money for ANOTHER month. Even so - I do try to laugh, because I know it doesn't do any good to dwell on it from minute to minute...but even keeping my own spirits up is a little tough because the husband is one of those guys who love to stress about problems. He'll sit and mope about stuff and forgets to enjoy life, while he's waiting for things to get better - that's hard to deal with. That part was probably the hardest part of the last few weeks (hell for the last 20 years!)

BUT THEN....

I read Erika's post tonight about her little one running around the house and laughing uncontrollably and having so much fun and it jogged a memory (or 50 memories....)

Everytime I have one or both of my grandchildren over - (and it's usually for an overnight)

even though there's a tantrum or tears at some point during the visit (they're both preschoolers, after all)

There's ALWAYS at least two or three times within a visit that I'm just laying on the couch or bed, they're with me and we are just being goofy. I mean goofy. I'm acting like another little kid - laughing at farts, burps, or other weird noises (a big thing for me, because farts and burps used to be serious crimes when we were kids, and I have only recently relaxed about this type of thing...)

I find myself tickling them and just laughing for no reason at all - just whatever a two or three year old finds funny.

Sometimes it's just a look that one of them gave the other. Sometimes it's just a word someone said. Sometimes it's laughing because the dog is sitting up on his hind legs again (like a meer cat) for the tenth time that day. Sometimes we burst into laughter because one of the other is laughing.

we just spend time laughing until it's hard to breath.

So even when I know there's no money and I really want to buy a book, or a bra, or a new pair of pants, but can't because...no $$$

Even when I know things are going to be tough for a while - yet another month to go...

Even though every morning when I wake up I don't want to wake up because I'm in so much pain...and I know I'm going to feel the same way tomorrow and after work...

There's all this laughter that is coming my way - just because I have two grandchildren who are comfortable enough around me to be themselves.

Same with my own kids, really - they can get me going just by listening to their off the wall humor and horribly nasty jokes....they can be so inappropriate, but I still end up laughing.

And even though after being married for 31 years, I don't laugh as much with my husband as I used to, We're still married, We've known each other longer than we've known anyone else, and I can't imaging not having him around - moody mopes and goofy jokes and all.

I can't help it - I just have to laugh

They're funny as hell