Saturday, July 28, 2012

Really, people....REALLY???

I was wasting some time one night when I ended up on someone's website where they were complaining about bad behaviour from authors, and some others complaining about bad behaviour from reviewers, and I have to say...I am amazed at how ...omg, okay - yes, once in a while there are some rude, truly rude things said about a review or in a review about an author.  Then of course a flame war ensues.  And then all the people in the commenting section get busy with their statements, sometimes attacking each other.  People - there are better things to put your time to - and I'm truly sorry I wasted too much time reading some truly negative writings.  But what struck me the most was how both sides were behaving just as badly as they were complaining.  Wow.  Just Wow.  I'm not going to add any more to this, except my feeling of ....dismay over the negative behaviour.  Thank god, out of all this negative, horrid stuff, there were some pretty funny posts, satires if you will by some people who seemed to have a steady head on their shoulders and managed to make some comedy out of some bad situations.  I would post links, but I don't feel like searching through all the negative shit out there to find them.   However...

There was a few comments that kind of bugged me.  (well, they all BUGGED me)  But I mean one that I do want to address.  Someone noted that they don't respect any reviewer that only gives four or five star reviews.  That got me thinking....I mainly do this.  Give between four and six out of six stars on my own site.  Their reasoning is that the reviewer isn't being honest.  How can they tell?  They do NOT KNOW what is in the head of every single reviewer out there.  On my part, if I start to read a book that I can tell I'm not going to enjoy, then I don't finish it.  I figure that life is short enough, you never know when you're going to bite the dust.  In fact, I had a scare where for two years I lived with the assumption that I had emphysema (because a lung specialist TOLD me I had it, and that my lung function would decrease by as much as 50 percent every year until I ended up severely compromised....) and that does a real number on you.  You're thinking you have maybe 15 years if you're lucky, or possibly only 10. 10 to 15 years of a prolonged death by suffocation.  In my case, about 15 years ago, this woman just grabbed my palm, (without asking me) touched my lifeline and other lines in my palm and told me I would die within 20 years, and it was okay, because my family would think it was a blessing because of how much pain I was going to suffer in the next few years.  Added to that, I had a lines bisecting me lifeline, which she told me symbolized other earlier brushes with death.  She didn't know, but I had come close to death twice as a toddler, once as a six year old, and once more as an adult when I lost a pregnancy and started hemmorrhaging, as well as later when I had a pretty bad staph infection 8 years ago.   What freaked me out about this a year ago (I had pushed this memory aside) was that I AM in daily pain - from my neck to fingers to back to toes.    It's daily, and it's pretty severe and I never have good pain control.  I'm digressing, but with the two things combined I'm thinking - wow.....time to just enjoy what I have, and drop all the other shit that's not important.

This includes NOT forcing myself to read books that I don't enjoy - so why SHOULD I BOTHER TO REVIEW THEM if I don't finish a book?  It's not fair to the writer to review a book you don't finish reading, because you haven't experienced the whole thing.  At least, that's the way I look at it.  That is why you will only see four, five or six star reviews from me on my own site; and three four or five star reviews on Amazon, Goodreads, The Library Thing, Shelfari or wherever else I might feel like posting a review. Once in a while I might write about not finishing a book, but that will never be in review form; it'll be in one of my lists of books, or posts about Monday Reading, etc.

And even though I might get a little snarky about a certain author's (coughLKHcough) writing - normally I try to stay positive.  The reason I do occasionally get a little snarky about a certain author is because of her inflammatory posts about prudish readers and the way she puts down people who don't agree with her - which I realize was the same way I was behaving, so I rarely even mention her books.  There is another writer that allowed some pretty rough comments to people who her rabid fans didn't agree with, and I won't even mention her name.  I might read her books, because I liked her series, but you will never ever see me review her book anywhere, or even mention her name.  I would get too bitter and it's not necessary to do so publicly.  Just mentioning it in this way seems a little bitchy to me.  If she had even handled things the slightest bit nicer, or her rabid fans weren't allowed to go on the attack I would be happy to support her books - but really, one abstention is really not going to hurt her, it's just a personal choice.  But I also won't ever go to a public site and start a flame war just to make myself feel better about things.  it's weird to do that.  There's too much negativity in the world as it is, and sometimes I worry that the more negative and rude the comments on any given site or place, internet, virtual or real, then the worse the overall atmosphere of the world in general and a vicious cycle  is perpetrated or added to.  Why add to it?  We need better, more positive thoughts.

So that is my long winded explanation about why I don't do bad reviews.  because I don't read books that I don't enjoy.  There are some that I feel a little bleh about, or feel like I didn't get a whole lot of fun out of reading - those are the four star reviews (sometimes) on my site, three star on the book websites.  So I do kind of resent that some people make judgments about the value of a review because a reviewer might choose to focus only on the books she enjoys reading.  Really.  Get that stick out of your ass, you'll be more comfortable, and don't be so sure that they're being a dishonest reviewer.  Maybe they really do like every book they reviewed.  Maybe they have low expectations of books, or maybe they only focus on books they enjoyed.  It always amazed me how judgmental people can get, not just judgmental, but militant about it.  

As for the posters who continuously add hate and negativity to their posts, encourage flame wars, or post things like personal data on the internet of people they don't like - won't follow their websites or pay attention to them.  That is some bat-shit crazy behaviour.


  1. I rarely need to give a low rating, but I did once, and if the author read it, it probably broke her heart. But honestly it was about the two most depressing characters I've ever read, so I warned people off reading it. Mean, but honest!

    1. I understand if people read the whole thing and need to put there opinion out there - but there's a review, and then there is just really mean wording where you know the reviewer is playing to an audience, getting some mean girl laughter, etc. There's a difference. Lately, I've been seeing some mean stuff out there, it's disheartening. I'm talking very cruel, not just a review about what worked for a reader and what didn't work. It's sad, when people attack each other over words. (thanks for, was it the whiny challenge I put out? haha)

  2. Sad as it is some people like giving a nasty, negative review without finishing a book because they like the drama it creates. There's never any cause for personal attacks, one thing saying you don't like a book, anther thing to make a bitchy personal attack, those people need to get a life!! Some of us read a lot of 4 and 5 star books as our time is precious and over time we become more selective with our choices ;)
    Interesting post and yes I'm commenting because you put it out there lol but I found that commenting and generating conversation on other people's blogs was a great way to foster regular visitors to my own blog. Besides Aussie's are a friendly bunch ... so keep up the commenting lol

    1. I totally agree - I often wonder with those angry people, what's going on in their lives. They must feel totally out of control with bits of it to get so hot and bothered over a book, or an author trying to explain their intent (I know there's been a couple who have been a bit rude, I did read one guy's comments, but he seemed a little paranoid and persecuted).

      I'm also making more of an effort to comment on other people's reviews. I do okay on the meme - always try to comment on the memes I visit, but I haven't been up on the review comments. I need to do that better. I have noticed, I've visited a few Aussie blogs and you are friendly! thanks! :)